Knee Deep in Grits

Everybody's a Weener

2011-11-14T12:19:00.000-05:00

Well spank my butt and call me "Sally," I won the granddaddy of my company's United Way incentive program prizes: a respectable travel certificate. (Glad I actually donated!)
This means I'll be able to take the man someplace special for Christmas!
The question is: where?

Zip Fail

2011-11-06T18:44:00.000-05:00

I am not the world’s most active person.

Given a choice between rappelling down a mountainside and watching Gerard Butler do it, I will choose the latter. Especially if he’s shirtless. Especially from the comfort of my living room couch. Especially with popcorn.

That said, I recognize that admiring the work of Mr. Butler’s stunt double won’t do anything to help shed the extra pounds I’ve put since hitting 40. Nor will it help me break out of this social bubble I’ve created for myself in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.

Fortunately, I have a partner for that.

Dave doesn't care much for my bubble. So he encourages me (sometime gently, sometime not-so-gently) to “MOVE!”

And being the ever-responsive, and loving partner that I am, I move. Sometimes.

I’ve done pretty well. So far this year we hiked, kayaked and swam.

Last night, we zip lined.

Zip lining, for the uninitiated, is the act of harnessing ones’ self to a trolley which rests upon a steel cable. Said cable is attached toward the top of a tower of certain height. One then leaps from said tower, rides the system at some speed toward another tower some distance away. There, said cable is attached at a somewhat lower height.

Those who, like me, are less-than-physically active may react with fear to some of the words I’ve just used:

Leap
Height
Speed

Fear is what I was struck with last night.

With the assistance of Living Social, I’d purchased two tickets for Dave’s birthday at a local zip line park.

[Let me say here that they did a fantastic job! I never felt unsafe, our guides were authoritative yet fun, and the facility seems well-maintained. Still, there’s nothing a park, nor a guide can do to make a 70-foot tower seem like anything less than 70-feet high.]

In all, our group was 10: two guides, us, a gun-ho 30-something couple who told us they “compete for first” (ugh), a 20-something couple who’d recently taken up hang-gliding (hate them), and a woman with her adorkable teenaged son (all 5’9 and 90 pounds of him). This was A-Dork’s birthday present as well. A present “Mom” was hoping would help cure his fear of heights. We'll see.

For me, “fear” didn’t manifest itself immediately. The first thing I felt was “hot.”

It’s the harness. Once they strapped me in, I felt like a WWII paratrooper about to embark on a mission for the allied forces in some second-tier John Wayne movie.

Approaching the first tower, I mentally moved forward in time. Now, I was a reality TV contestant about to participate in some immunity challenge on Survivor: Redneck Mountain. Still bold and with a sense of purpose.

Reaching the top of the tower, however, the “oh shit” factor dropped like a lead weight into my bowels.

While I’d envisioned the harness, the helmet, and the graceful gliding among the trees, I’d somehow blocked out the fact that in order to set that all in motion, you have to jump off something. Something high. And that after that, the only thing preventing an egg vs. floor situation is a cable no bigger around than my thumb.

“Oh, shit,” indeed.

So I elected to do what generations of cowards before me have done: go last.

Dave, just ahead of me, was a trooper. After his first few runs, he was letting out a ceremonial “woo hoo,” much to the enjoyment of all around.

It was also after the first few runs that it became apparent that A-Dork and I were in a league of our own.

When zip lining, you see, it’s important to build up and maintain a certain amount of speed. Momentum helps you get from Point A to Point B.

Lose momentum and you can stop short.

Stop short and you have to pull yourself, hand over hand, tothe next platform.

It seems his fear of heights got the better of him and A-Dork was the first to have to pull himself in. (I didn’t see it, of course, I was still at the back of the pack.)

I was the second.

For my first few runs actually, I’d been going too fast. Nearly crashing into the platform and taking one of our guides down with me.

“You keep on doing that,” he said, “and you’re going to wind up breaking an ankle.”

Okay, think I. That is not going to happen.

So I attempt the fine art of “braking.” Braking is done with your dominant hand. During the ride, the hand rests atop the trolley. Braking is achieved by resting it behind the trolley, on top of the cable. However…

“Grasp the cable too tightly and you risk ripping your arm off,” we’d been warned.

Well, guess who had surgery on his dominant shoulder last year.

I did.

So…

Fear of Heights, plus

Fear of Speed, plus

Fear of Broken Ankles, plus

Fear of exacerbating a bum shoulder, equals

Mark stopping short on his next run.

Toward the end of a typical run, the cable angles up slightly to slow you down as you reach the platform. Stop short on that upward angle and you will start rolling backward, thus increasing the amount of space between you and the platform.

Which is what I did.

Thinking fast, I reached up with my “good” arm and grabbed the cable. I say “good” because my non-dominant/left shoulder has suffered nearly as much trauma as my right. But the left one was not operated on last year.

And yes, with this, my “good” shoulder turned out of its socket.

I’ve been dealing with this for years and know that if I angle my arm and/or body a certain way everything will pop back into place.

Easier said than done when you’re dangling 50-feet off the ground.

Still, it popped back in and thus began the process of pulling myself home: sore shoulder over repaired shoulder; sore shoulder over repaired shoulder.

For six feet! The longest six feet of my life!

It was probably about halfway there that I started wishing I was A-Dork. All 90 pounds of him.

But no, I’m all 200+ pounds of me.

I won’t say that ultimately standing on that platform left me with any great sense of accomplishment. Relief is more like it.

Followed by dread.

You see, since ours was the last group of the night, our guides were “treating” us to extra runs. Extra-long, extra runs.

Later, as we were being unhooked from our harnesses, Dave asked A-Dork if this had helped with his fear of heights.

His response, “Not at all.” But he smiled.

As for me:

Did I enjoy it? Absolutely!

Will I do it again? No friggin’ way.

In the meantime, I’ll rest my shoulder while Dave does the yard work.

Florence + The Machine - Dog Days Are Over (2010 Version)

2010-10-18T19:52:00.000-04:00

Happy Days Are Here Again / Get Happy

2010-10-13T07:59:00.000-04:00

Surprise Party

2010-10-07T17:59:00.000-04:00

Dina Martina

2010-10-04T19:44:00.000-04:00

All Creative Work Is Derivative

2010-09-08T07:42:00.000-04:00

BACKIN UP SONG!!

2010-09-08T07:19:00.000-04:00

Cat Funny

2010-09-04T08:47:00.002-04:00

Body Fuzion

2010-09-02T22:30:00.002-04:00

BED INTRUDER SONG

2010-09-02T22:27:00.001-04:00

This is interesting.

Yosemitebear Mountain Giant Double Rainbow 1-8-10

2010-09-02T22:25:00.001-04:00

Hedonism II Memorial Day Weekend in Jamaica with "Hedo Rick"

2010-09-02T22:25:00.000-04:00

Michigan J. Frog - Hello, My Baby

2010-08-22T19:54:00.001-04:00

My Honey Loves

2010-08-22T19:54:00.000-04:00

My honey loves him some onion rings. I just wish he'd love them a little before 10pm.

Michael Bublé - Feeling Good (Video)

2010-08-22T11:37:00.001-04:00

Feeling Good

2010-08-22T11:37:00.000-04:00

Okay, I've slid far enough down the Muscato Must Read scale that it's time to post something and move myself up a bit.

Confession: I lost interest in keeping this thing current since the death last fall of my mother. But life goes on. I'm starting (with the help of a patient partner) to feel like myself again. And, looking for things that make me "feel good."

New toys certainly help. I broke down a couple of months ago and got myself an iPh*ne. Partially because my boss kept texting me and my old phone was woefully text-unfriendly. (Partially because I needed a new toy.) I take it everywhere and am loving certain apps--use them all the time. The partner and I get a kick out of certain others.

Going to the movies certainly helps. In that respect, our little city of Arts and Innovation is growing into its name. There's a new cinema in town and I have a love-hate relationship with it. Love the movies they show. Hate the too salty popcorn and butt-crunching seats. Hmm. I wonder what kind of hits I'll get from "butt-crunching."

Random Link

Recommendations from our experience at the North Carolina Gay & Lesbian Film Festival:

Eyes Wide Open
Favorite Actor

BearCity
Favorite Actor

You Should Meet My Son
Favorite Actor

Missed at the NCGLFF:

Howl

As always, I'm looking for recommendations of things to add to my N*tfl*x queue.

And There Was Much Rejoicing

2010-07-11T15:28:00.001-04:00

Cafe Muscato is back.

Jeb & Dash

2010-02-09T07:40:00.002-05:00

Obviously, I missed the royal blue memo today at the Y.

D went with me today. yay!

My starting weight 230. ick.

Just finished reading Jeb and Dash.

omg-- someone wrote a play about them!

omgII-- someone's got a fansite about Jeb!

I can't imagine why. While the book is an amazing insight into early 20th century gay life in D.C., I can't imagine wanting to socialize with either of them based on the portrayal in Jeb's diaries. He's thoroughly depressed.

Still, he's a product of his times and I consider myself lucky to be living in the times I'm living in.

I'll have to check out the links above to see if there's any new insight.

Not Dead Yet

2010-02-08T07:32:00.002-05:00

Bloghalla my ass, Muscato.

Today, I rise! (Cue the creepy victory music...)

In an attempt to conquer my gym phobia and get my pants to fit once again, I joined a gym.

Went this morning for the first time.

30 minutes around the track with my new iPhone set to it's Pandora app.

Played my Lady Gaga station.

Now I'm home. Shit/Showered/Shaved.

Eating a microwavable breakfast sandwich and drinking my coffee out of my Cozumel mug. (January 1996).

South Beach Diet, Day 3

2009-02-24T20:09:00.003-05:00

Okay, I'm not quite so starving.

I won't go so far as to say I'm feeling any thinner-- maybe I'm just getting used to smaller portions.

And I'm all about the South Beach Surprise Mashed "Potatoes"-- yummy!

Here is a pic from Valentine's Day-- when the Partner in Crime and I celebrated with a lovers' lunch.

South Beach Diet, Day 2

2009-02-23T21:47:00.003-05:00

Okay, I'm still alive.

It's not so bad-- although hauling all this food to work is a bit of a pain. (Baby needs a bigger lunch pail.)

Today we had the eggplant and peppers medley-- quite yummy.

The Partner in Crime played with the chicken a little bit which added a bit of zest.

Tomorrow I get to try the Surprise Mashed Potatoes-- a bit of foodstuffs about which I've heard quite a bit-- so I'm looking forward to it.

I'll leave you with a picture of Fergie-- who's been a bit of a crank lately.

I don't know if it's that the rash on her ass is coming back or she's getting tangly, or if she's just getting old... but she's been waking us up before dawn lately.

Yuk.

The South Beach Diet, Day 1

2009-02-22T17:59:00.004-05:00

Le sigh.

Since the onset of winter, and taking an office job, my waist-size has ballooned.

Not to say that I'm a porker right now -- I'm not -- but the pants are getting a little tight. And seeing as how I purchased them in the weeks leading up to starting the new job... well, I'll let you draw conclusion.

So, the Partner in Crime suggested we South Beach it. He's recommended this before, but we've never gotten around to it.

I figure, Hey, he brought me some kick-ass roses for Valentine's Day and he does most of the cooking anyway, so, why not?

We started today-- portion control is all new to me.

And we did a catch-up shop this afternoon-- so there'll be more cooking this evening (before the Oscars).

But, I gotta say, I'm hungry.

More tomorrow.

First Guests of 2009

2009-01-11T19:00:00.004-05:00

We started off the new year with household guests. And because they stayed overnight in our abode, they had to comply and have their picture taken at our favorite local photo opportunity: the Shell Station.

They were game-- which was good-- 'cause it's a rule. A rule begun only AFTER my mother's visit-- so her picture is missing from the group, but not for long.

These two are relatives of the Partner in Crime -- a cousin and his wife. They're from the great state of Texas-- where I've never been. They have a son in D.C. and stopped in to see us on the way back home.

As we do with most of our visitors (after they've been subjected to the Shell Station), we took them to Old Salem so they could get a taste of the history of our region-- the Moravians and all that stuff.

The cool thing is, I learn something new every time I go there and this time I applied the lesson from last time's visit-- and purchased some of this awesome sugar bread. Baked right on the premises, got it fresh from the oven... still warm in the bag. About a 9.975 on the yumminess scale. The PIC compares it to something called "Monkey Bread" which I've never had but he says we can make it sometime.

After that, we took them up to Mt. Airy so they could bask in the

Americana that is the legend of Andy Griffith.

I don't get it, but that's okay.

The thing is, there's this sewing shop in town that our women guests seem to be all about... I guess maybe there's something to this sewing/quilting thing-- maybe it's time to get on board.

Naturally, because we're way down south, we had to end their stay with some ribs... cooked on the porch... because it was like 60-degrees!

I have to say, the Partner in Crime is getting this "ribs" thing down... they were yummy.

The Awesome Neighbors Strike Again

2009-01-11T18:40:00.002-05:00

A Moravian Star

This is what they got us for Christmas -- not that we were expecting anything, they've been really good to us since we rolled into town.

And now we know The Rules of displaying the Star (you can't... shouldn't leave it up year-round no matter how cool it looks).

We were quite happy that our gift to them went over so well-- we got them a genuine Maine Balsam Wreath. Which is still hanging on their door-- as well it should... so is ours.

Inside/Out

2009-01-11T18:34:00.003-05:00

Hey, at least she's not sleeping on/falling off the computer tower any more.

Knee Deep in Familial Love and Affection

2008-12-25T14:08:00.001-05:00

Merry Christmas from my niece.

Knee Deep in New Xmas (Part 2)

2008-12-25T13:55:00.004-05:00

Here's the "new" in New Christmas... it was 60 (f***ing) degrees before noon!

That's just wrong! Not that I'm complaining, mind you -- I don't think I ever need to deal with snow again.

We are now down to 1 cat.

With the demise earlier this year of Miss Muffin, Miss Fergie is all alone for most of the day.

She let's us know how pleased she is by this (NOT) by meowing loudly when we come home in the evening and landing on us whenever we sit.

Hey, the old girl is 17. I'm willing to cut her some slack.

Here we are with our Christmas Crowns --

part of the package of gifts we brought home from Mother's house.

It's all good: new state, new jobs, new weather conditions.

I'm a happy camper.

Knee Deep in New Xmas (Part 1)

2008-12-25T13:41:00.002-05:00

We started off the day with a lovely Christmas brunch (made by the Partner in Crime, of course)...

Then we rounded up the unopened gifts for the festivities.

Here's the PIC under the tree (due to the timing of our trip up north this year, we really didn't think it was the best idea to get a tree... definitely next year though.

I got my traditional Mom Gift: Stephen King's latest -- as well as some foodstuffs and a lovely paper crown! (I may have to wear it for the rest of the day.)

We then went out and hung our new Moravian Star! It's lovely! It's a gift from our Awesome Neighbors with whom we went to last Night's Lovefeast. (Click the link on that one. While lovely, the Lovefeast is far too complicated for me to explain here.)

Knee Deep in "Cool!"

2008-12-06T11:20:00.001-05:00

You're Alice's Adventures in Wonderland!

by Lewis Carroll

After stumbling down the wrong turn in life, you've had your mind
opened to a number of strange and curious things. As life grows curiouser and curiouser,
you have to ask yourself what's real and what's the picture of illusion. Little is coming
to your aid in discerning fantasy from fact, but the line between them is so blurry that
it's starting not to matter. Be careful around rabbit holes and those who smile to much,
and just avoid hat shops altogether.

Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Knee Deep in Regional Pride

2008-11-28T07:38:00.002-05:00

Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller

True. True.

Knee Deep in Fur

2008-11-27T12:41:00.002-05:00

We're puppy sitting for our Awesome Neighbors for a few days.
They're off to the coast, having Turkey Day Weekend with family.
As I may have mentioned, their dog has an obsession with our cat.
It's cute. He just sits and stares at her.
She lets him... until he gets too close.
Then she growls.

It's been a roller coaster of a year, but in the end I have many things to be thankful for -- not the least of which is a loving Partner In Crime who has held my hand through a major move and some serious underemployment and the financial constraints that brings.
He's awesome.

But that's over, I have a great new job. We're adjusting to our new home and looking forward to many more wonderful Thanksgivings to come.

Knee Deep in "No, it's too early!"

2008-11-22T14:58:00.008-05:00

At the behest of a co-worker, the Partner in Crime and I were directed to the Festival of Trees today, a benefit for the local children's hospital . The PIC protested, "I don't do Christmas before Thanksgiving." But he went along, being the good sport that he is and seeing as how it's a benefit and all.
It was cute. Lots of local merchants doing their thing, a local gospel choir (who sounded quite good), and some little bits of fabulousness here and there among the Martha Stewart wanna-bes.

My favorite tree, naturally, was the most glamorous -- all tulle and glitter and mermaids and crap. And it came with a matching wreath! Yes, I guess it was an underwater, by-the-sea theme. It really stood out. We love that.

The PIC likes his trees simpler.

We also got a free CD just for coming.

But that's in temporary storage -- we're not doing any more Christmas-y stuff for another week.

Knee Deep in "Never gets old"

2008-11-22T12:15:00.001-05:00

Knee Deep in "Brrrrr!"

2008-11-21T07:48:00.002-05:00

It snowed overnight.
Yes, I was happy to see it.
No, I don't need to see any more.

UPDATE: Yes, school was put on a 2 hour delay.
UPDATE II: Yes, it was all gone by noon. Jeesh.

Knee Deep in Memories

2008-11-16T16:31:00.004-05:00

Well, I've just completed my first week at my new job.
And it's all good.
The work will be challenging -- and massive in scope.
My bosses are cool and the workplace seems very laid back (yay).
This also marks the first time I've ever had my own office -- a mindf*ck in and of itself. So, for the first time, I'm faced with the prospect of decorating.

Art a la Ma

Now, unlike many other Gentlemen with the Style Gene, I'm pretty much decor-challenged. However, I happen to have some paintings that were done by my mother either before I was born or shortly thereafter. All I can say is that I remember them hanging in the kitchen when I was a child.
They disappeared shortly thereafter -- only to be rediscovered some years ago as we (my mother, brothers, and I) were cleaning out the attic after my father's death. Mother didn't seem particularly attached to them, so I took them.
They had a place of prominence in the condo -- but this is the first time they're hung with care as a conversation piece.
I like them.

Knee Deep in Gore

2008-11-16T12:38:00.002-05:00

At the behest of a co-worker of the Partner in Crime, we rented The Machine Girl this week. Mixed reactions here in the household.

The PIC enjoyed the campiness of it. I prefer more traditional (gay) camp.

I have to admit, I'm not much interested in the genre. But there was one aspect that fascinated me: the casting of actors who seem to be all about the same age to play characters of wildly-varying ages (I swear, the actor playing a 10-year-old looked about the same age as those playing his best friend's parents). That's not something I'd encountered before.

Knee Deep in "Aht"

2008-11-16T11:53:00.009-05:00

A little bit of fabulousness last night courtesy of the kids at the local art school:

This was one of those times I was a wee bit envious of the serious amateur photographers who came with their high-end cameras and tripods.

Still, the cheapo model we use turned out some nice little snaps.

Fortunately for us, we were alerted to the evening's show by our Awesome Neighbors who seem to be tuned in to All Things Fabulous in the region.

Afterward, we did a little bar hopping -- during which I was pleased to discover that there are places for post college-aged people to go out and was introduced to Bushmills Irish Whiskey. I think it's going to become a serious contender for my affections for Jameson's.

The Partner in Crime takes a moment to engage in a little post-Halloween spookiness...

Knee Deep in Paperwork

2008-11-10T19:29:00.002-05:00

<=== Poor dead trees.

I started my new job today.

Well, I didn't really start today. Today I had orientation. That's where all the newly-hired employees from different disciplines (who'll never see each other again) sit in a large room all day and learn how to be nice to one another. Diversity=good.

As you probably know, with a new job comes lots of paperwork -- benefits (5 pages + 5 booklets to explain the benefits), confidentiality agreements (1 page, very legal), perks (12 handouts -- but, we love perks, so we're not complaining), and a map. This place where I'm working now is so huge, there's a map to show you where all the different buildings are. And, get this, the place is so huge the map is not done to scale because if it was done to scale it wouldn't fit on one 8 1/2 x 11 sheet of paper.

Eek.

Poor dead trees.

I'm still excited though. I have another 1/2 day of orientation to go and then I start my real work.

Things are looking good.

Knee Deep in Needy

2008-11-10T17:07:00.003-05:00

Poor Fergie

As the sole remaining animal in the house, it is Fergie's responsibility to hold down the fort while the Partner in Crime and I are at work during the day.
This has not, in the past, been an issue.
Previously, the PIC would leave for work between 8 and 8:30 a.m., and I'd often be home at around noon.
Now, with my new job (yay), she's faced with a new prospect. Both her caregivers were gone today by 7:45 a.m. and the first of us didn't get home until 4:45 p.m.
Given her reaction, she must have thought she'd been abandoned.
"Pet me! Pet me!" she meowed.
I ignored her for a bit. After all, we'd put a full can of wet food in her bowl this morning, she had plenty of dry food, and plenty of water.
She's just whining, I thought.
But no. It continued, "Pet me! Pet me!"
So, I changed my clothes, tore myself away from the daily blogroll, and settled into the living room for a good stroke. A little NPR on the stereo, and a full glass of grape Kool-Aid by my side, I was content.
And she was content.
For about 10 minutes.
That's when she jumped off my lap.

You need what you need, I guess. And you don't need more.

Knee Deep in "Whoa, This is Cool!"

2008-11-09T12:05:00.001-05:00

Read why this:

is so much more accurate than this:

here.

Knee Deep in Reduce, Reuse, Recycle

2008-11-07T11:05:00.002-05:00

NetFlix Origami

Knee Deep in Glad That's Over

2008-11-05T15:48:00.002-05:00

Once again, a balmy 74 degrees on the porch.
I just got home from my pre-employment health screening at my new job (which starts Monday) -- lots of body fluids collected into little plastic containers.
Ick.
I'm sure if they find ANYTHING of consequence in my drug screen it'll be an abundance of nicotine and sugar left over from overnight guests and birthday cake.
A bit of humor: I got the funniest look after telling one of my screeners that I'd walked to the site (0.35 miles thank you very much). That happens a lot down here -- no one walks anywhere. And they look at you like you've got two heads when confronted with the concept.
I'm toying with the idea of giving up (selling) my beater in a couple of months. It's 13 years old, it's served me well, but I don't need it. I'm going to wait though to see how things go with walking to work/becoming a one car-household and all that. You never know.

We stayed up late last night watching election coverage. Our original plan to watch NBC was thwarted by the local affiliate which kept cutting in with news that we, as new residents, really don't care about. Well, watching a certain candidate's G*dless Americans ad come back to bite her in the ass was moderately amusing.

I confess, I've not watched a lot of the political coverage of late. I think I'm suffering from PJSD (Post Journalistic Stress Disorder), I just get all anxious when watching the news. The thing that struck me last night about Obama is what a gentleman he seems to be: poised, polite, polished.

A refreshing change.

Knee Deep in Walking Shoes

2008-11-03T16:22:00.002-05:00

It was with mixed feelings that I gave notice today at work.

Yes, this is something I've been working on for months.

Yes, this is for the betterment of my Partner and me.

Yes, this job has taken a physical toll on me.

But, I've met some really nice people. People I'll probably never see again.

Don't think I'm a bad person, I'm just not much of a hanger-on. I don't keep in touch with former co-workers, I don't keep mementos (much), and I'm horrible at correspondence. (Hence, the blog. If people want to check in, they are free to at any time.)

Still, as I was saying goodbye to some of my colleagues, I had a Dorothy moment.

The person I'll miss "most of all" was off today. I'll see her tomorrow -- my last day there (they're really flexible with giving notice there).

And then I'm off, by myself, to the Emerald city.

Knee Deep in "Enough already!"

2008-11-03T15:41:00.002-05:00

Every day*...
for the past two months...
I've come home to find Obama flyers on the door.

Maybe next year I will allow the PIC to put political sign on the lawn.

*practically

Knee Deep in Nature's Bounty

2008-11-02T07:50:00.000-05:00

see more pwn and owned pictures

Knee Deep in Nature Girl

2008-11-01T19:48:00.016-04:00

We had more company this weekend. An old friend of the Partner in Crime's from his day's in the park service -- we'll call her Nature Girl.

First, we gave her the nickel tour of downtown. Well, not even quite -- maybe the half-penny tour. One of our favorite buildings is the RJ Reynolds Building. It's now vacant, I guess. They're moving everyone into the Reynolds American building next door. Too bad though, 'cause there's some interesting history behind that building.

Next, it was off to Mayberry Ice Cream Parlor. She'd been referred there by someone who went to college here. Much yumminess -- so much for my lactose intolerance. (Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do when there's company in town.)

Next up, Pilot Mountain (we take just about everybody there, it's quite fabby -- and remember, this is Nature Girl we're talking about). Fortunately for everyone involved, the fall foliage was in high gear and it was warm, warm warm! 72 degrees! I know... right? "Take that, New England!"

As a lovely coincidence, we ran into one of the PIC's work buddies who belongs to a local astronomy club. He let us look through his specially-equipped telescope at the sun! Wicked cool! So we could check out these huge fireball things shooting off it. I thoroughly recommend it.

Sunday morning comes (thank you, Mother for reminding me about Daylight Savings Time), and the line at our new favorite breakfast place was way too long to tolerate. So we headed off to The Old 4th Street Filling Station where we were seated under some lovely umbrellas (yes, 70+ degree weather once again) and had a lovely breakfast/brunch.

We will definitely go back there, especially when there is company in town.

Then over to quaint Old Salem. Read about it here, we've been several times. More foliage.

And finally, we ended the weekend with the now-traditional stop at the old Shell station.

I love that place because it reminds me of Americana, kitsch, and all-things-oversized.

The Partner in Crime likes it because of his fondness for all things automotive.

Nature Girl is invited to come stay any time she likes!

Knee Deep in WTF?

2008-11-01T19:27:00.006-04:00

It's November 1.

It's 74 degrees and we're wearing shorts.

And H*rdee's has Christmas lights up already.

WTF?

Knee Deep in Numminess

2008-11-01T11:55:00.002-04:00

"Celebrity" Endorsement

Last weekend's guests brought us a special treat -- one we've been doing without for quite some time.
It's called "Frank's Blend" and it's made by Pleasoning.
"Dis stuff is da bomb!" said the Partner in Crime upon sprinkling some on popcorn the other night.
Of course, Frank's Blend goes well with other dishes as well. I recommend it on Kraft Macaroni & Cheese.
Yummy!

Knee Deep in Dark and Stormy Nights

2008-10-31T17:09:00.004-04:00

Happy Halloween!

From my niece.

Knee Deep in Handel

2008-10-31T11:15:00.003-04:00

(Click below... then read.)

I have a job!!!!!!!!

After 7 months of job hunting in a new state
After 12 months of crappy temp/part-time work
After exacerbating every minor ache and pain through "light industrial" labor
After seeing the wrong side of dawn during a 1/2 hour commute too many times
After nearly killing my savings account
After nearly having given up hope

I have a job!!!!

A job that uses my skill set
A job .7 miles away from my front door
A job with opportunities for advancement
A job that pays really, really well

I may cry.

Knee Deep in Ketchup

2008-10-31T10:41:00.004-04:00

Some of the highlights of this here blog-thingie:

hearing how much my mother gets a hoot out of reading it
getting to be creative in a scrapbooky kind of way without having to associate with your typical scrapbooker
connecting with other bloggers

I haven't really done that last part yet, but what I have been is linked by a blogger I greatly admire for his charm, wit, and utter fabulousness:
The above is a screen capture from Cafe Muscato, the blog of a gentleman of taste and refinement living in Oman. Believe me when I tell you I visit his site every day. Every day. He reminds me that no matter where you live on the planet, there is no excuse to settle for anything other than the very best life has to offer.
So, when I discovered several weeks ago that he'd linked me to his website, I squealed like a little girl on a brand new bike.
On top of that, I'm linked right after Joe*My*God -- another daily stop in my trip around the world wide web. Joe sits in a category all by himself. I relate to his blog on so many levels I can't describe it.
Now I'm going to have to lobby CM to see if I can prevent him putting anything between me and Joe -- maybe tickets to the Ava Gardner Museum...

Knee Deep in Surfing-the-Web-on-My-Day-Off

2008-10-31T09:49:00.013-04:00

Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz...

You Are a Grace!

You are a Grace -- "I need to understand the world."

Graces have a need for knowledge and are introverted, curious, analytical, and insightful.
How to Get Along with Me
* Be independent, not clingy
* Speak in a straightforward and brief manner
* I need time alone to process my feelings and thoughts
* Remember that If I seem aloof, distant, or arrogant, it may be that I am feeling uncomfortable
* Make me feel welcome, but not too intensely, or I might doubt your sincerity
* If I become irritated when I have to repeat things, it may be because it was such an effort to get my thoughts out in the first place
* don't come on like a bulldozer
* Help me to avoid my pet peeves: big parties, other people's loud music, overdone emotions, and intrusions on my privacy
What I Like About Being a Grace
* standing back and viewing life objectively
* coming to a thorough understanding; perceiving causes and effects
* my sense of integrity: doing what I think is right and not being influenced by social pressure
* not being caught up in material possessions and status
* being calm in a crisis

What's Hard About Being a Grace
* being slow to put my knowledge and insights out in the world
* feeling bad when I act defensive or like a know-it-all
* being pressured to be with people when I don't want to be
* watching others with better social skills, but less intelligence or technical skill, do better professionally

Graces as Children Often
* spend a lot of time alone reading, making collections, and so on
* have a few special friends rather than many
* are very bright and curious and do well in school
* have independent minds and often question their parents and teachers
* watch events from a detached point of view, gathering information
* assume a poker face in order not to look afraid
* are sensitive; avoid interpersonal conflict
* feel intruded upon and controlled and/or ignored and neglected
Graces as Parents
* are often kind, perceptive, and devoted
* are sometimes authoritarian and demanding
* may expect more intellectual achievement than is developmentally appropriate
* may be intolerant of their children expressing strong emotions

Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz at HelloQuizzy

Knee Deep in Muffin

2008-10-29T16:32:00.004-04:00

Muffin*

(1991 - 2008)

I've neglected to post on this. 'Cause it's sad.
Muffin died earlier this month. She had some sort of intestinal/bowel blockage due to who-knows-what and she didn't make it.
Muffin was the "love bunny" in the house. The PIC said it best:

"Muffin was always the sweet one, a little timid and quite overweight.

She was a loyal and sweet cat and was loved by all who love cats."

Now we're left with Fergie -- the independent one. Who, since Muffin's passing seems to have taken her sister's place as the affectionate one.

Fergie, as I posted earlier, is the one who practically lived outside for most of the summer.

Here's the sign we put on the door when we moved her back into the house... it's modified now.

*No, that's not a picture of a dead cat. That was Muffin in her natural state some months ago. She actually died peacefully at the vet's office.

Knee Deep in Mayberry II

2008-10-28T18:26:00.014-04:00

We had more company this weekend -- old friends from the Partner in Crime's days as a tour guide. A lovely couple from Wisconsin. (Never been there. Looking forward to a trip there next summer.)
It turns out they're big fans of The Andy Griffith Show, which -- conveniently -- is based loosely on Mt. Airy. Not far from here.

The PIC and I have been there before, but, due to bad planning, didn't arrive until around 4 p.m. on a Sunday afternoon. Yeah, go figure. This time was much more eventful as we scheduled a good part of the day to be there.

The Lady Friend is a big quilter and fortunately for us there's a rather snappy sewing shop in Mt. Airy. Needless to say her "just popping in for a look" took about 45 minutes and cost her more than a hundred bucks. Yay! We're more than happy to help the local economies.

The Gentleman Friend is a big car buff (just like PIC) so for them, the treat was a ride in a 1964 Ford Galaxie which has been converted into a cop car. Included in the price (yay) is a tour around town where we saw Andy Griffith's childhood home (now converted into a B&B), The Andy Griffith Playhouse, several homes and buildings built from quarry granite, and other local landmarks.

Our motley crew with "Goober"

Mount Airy Quarry

o-rings, "Mt. Poilt", statue abuse, squirrel detail

Another fun tidbit: Donna Fargo grew up up nearby.

Knee Deep in BWAHAHAHAHA

2008-10-27T15:07:00.000-04:00

See more Ron Howard videos at Funny or Die

This actually made me laugh. More from Mayberry later.

Knee Deep in Nature's Beauty

2008-10-25T08:15:00.005-04:00

I confess, I've never been one to take part in the annual tradition that's come to be known as Leaf Peeping. When you're raised with something, as I was in the great green north, you tend to take it for granted. And that's what happened with me and fall foliage.
Then we moved south and discovered mountain ranges! They certainly do add to the whole effect and hence, my appreciation for this Rite of Fall.

Our view from atop Grandfather Mountain

Ain't we photogenic?

Naturally, the Great Unwashed Masses were out in full force. Many of them with rugrats in tow. Here's the PIC reacting to some of the youngins who (we felt) we're getting a little too close to the edge:

"Where are their parents!?"

But hey, they're not ours to worry about.

Knee Deep in Knee-Jerk Liberal-Elitist Reactions

2008-10-25T07:25:00.002-04:00

We went west last weekend (the Partner in Crime and I) into mountain country.
It was lovely. Fall foliage was probably at peak peakness -- but I'll get into that later.
This post is about what I found at a local tourist trap. We were browsing (i.e.-waiting in line for the bathroom) when I stumbled across these (see photo): candy cigarettes!
I was horrified! Marketing tobacco products to children! Shameless! Where's the management? This must stop!
Then I caught myself. These are probably the same brand of candy cigarettes I "smoked" with my cousins as a child. Didn't we feel grown-up as we emulated our elders. (All my aunts and uncles smoked -- many still do.) Surely they're harmless.
Then I caught myself again: I'm a smoker. Am I a smoker, in part, due to the de-sensitization I experienced as a child? Is there any truth to the theories that trending-toward-addiction is hereditary? What do they taste like now?
So the pop culture whore in me took over, I bought a pack (here in NC they're more expensive than REAL cigarettes, go figure) and posed outside the store for the picture you see to the left.
Now I wonder what my brother's children would make of candy cigarettes. As far as I know, they're not aware of my nicotine-laden habits and none of the adults in their immediate circle smokes.
We're going up north for Xmas, maybe I'll take them along and do an experiment.

UPDATE: Oh my god! I just strolled through the website of the tourist trap -- where they list this item not as candy cigarettes, but as candy "sticks". Sigh. Where's the integrity in that?

Knee Deep in The Song Running Through My Head Today

2008-10-23T17:53:00.001-04:00

Whatever Lola wants

Knee Deep in Oh No She Didn't!

2008-10-23T17:17:00.002-04:00

While we're on the voting topic, I have to get something off my chest. One of my co-workers made me really angry today.
We were chatting about after-work activities, and I mentioned that I'd be voting today.
Her reply: "I don't vote."
Huh!?!?!
"I don't wanna do jury duty."
Huh!?!?!?!!?!?!
"I don't do anything I'm not gonna get paid for."
....
....
And she was completely serious.

Sigh.

Knee Deep in Tingly Patriotic Feelings.

2008-10-23T16:51:00.002-04:00

You've gotta love early voting.

And I timed it just right. I went immediately upon leaving my part-time gig and was in and out of the building in 20 minutes! The way things have been going down here that's practically unheard of.

I have to admit, I was a little nervous. You see, this is the first time I've ever used an electronic voting machine. I know... right? (Do they even have electronic voting in Maine?) I've heard all the nightmares about EVMs -- changed votes, discounted votes, etc., etc. But the voting official at the polling place was really helpful and it was just as easy as I was hoping it would be.

And I got my Getting Choked Up on [Early] Election Day experience. I got to chatting with the woman behind me in line -- which is unusual for me as I don't normally like to interact with the Great Unwashed Masses. But she was visibly nervous. I assumed it was for the same reason I was.

I'm the one who initiated the conversation (again, really unusual for me) as we approached the poster telling you how to use the EVMs.

"This is my first time using one of these things."

"This is my first time voting!"

Huh!?!?!?!

"It always made me nervous."

I have to say, I was really taken aback. It's not like I'm super political. I like to think I'm politically aware, but when it comes right down to it, I'm less an issues voter than I am a go-with-my-gut voter. And I always vote.

It's not like I was raised in a political junkie household, but my parents always voted -- and seeing as the polling place in our hometown was mere steps from our front porch, they never had a reason not to.

They never talked about who they voted for, not to us kids at least. But they always took part in the political process. I guess they were of the mindset that "If you don't vote, you can't complain about the outcome."

I didn't ask this woman behind me in line why this was her first time voting. To me, it's an intensely private issue. Yes, I made certain assumptions: she's older, she's Black, she's in the South. But I kept them to myself.

Instead, I congratulated her on taking this important step and told her that I was really glad she was doing it.

I told her that my experiences with voting officials has always been positive: that they're always really helpful and eager to help with any questions.

That seemed to help.

Which made me glad and gave me a tingly-patriotic feeling.

Knee Deep in Tight Jeans and Mullets

2008-10-21T17:45:00.008-04:00

I've said it before, I'll say it again: Often, at my mind-numblingly boring job, my mind will wander and a song will pop into my head. Today, it was this one:

Obviously, therapy is in order.

In the meantime: mullets.com.

Mullets remind me of hockey players:

Knee Deep in Agriculture

2008-10-19T09:55:00.003-04:00

Some friends of the Partner in Crime stopped in town last weekend. Coincidentally, the Dixie Classic Fair was on.

Yay!

It was yet another opportunity to take part in some "firsts" and indulge our passion for things local/regional/agrarian...

First Foods: Corndogs, Funnel Cakes, and a Cheesy Corn thing

A tractor pull! (I just love this pic!)

My traditional, self-indulgent Swine pic...

The PIC's Turkey Legs...

It seems this particular fair satisfied our need for such things. So we probably will not be attending the State Fair in Raleigh. Maybe next year.

Knee Deep in Numbskullery

2008-10-18T19:43:00.004-04:00

Like good citizens, the Partner in Crime (PIC) and I went to vote today. You see, ours is one of the states that allows early voting and we thought it would be a good idea to get it out of the way.
So, we went on to the state's web site and found our local polling place, checked (or so we thought) the hours and headed off.
Much to our dismay (and that of several other people we crossed paths with) the polling place was not open!

Well, upon our arrival home, we double-checked the state's web site.
It turns out there's only one Saturday they're open for early voting.

(Look, Ma -- I learned how to do screen caps!)

Sigh.
My bad.
And here I thought I was an edumacated voter.
Educate yourself.
Vote.
It's your job.

Knee Deep in This is Not Going to Go Over Well...

2008-10-15T18:12:00.001-04:00

You Should Be An Atheist

So it's not really a religion. But that's the whole point.

You don't buy into the whole God thing... or you just don't care.

You may feel very alone in a world full of religious people.

But just remember, atheism has a long and rich intellectual history.

What Religion Should You Be?

Knee Deep in Needles (and Pins)

2008-10-15T17:10:00.003-04:00

Okay... I haven't written about this before because I don't want to jinx anything. But... I've been on a major job hunt since March.

Since leaving my last Job of Consequence (JOC) in May of 2007, I've taken time off to reflect (very cool) taken a screenwriting class (in NYC -- also very cool), moved in with the Partner in Crime (too cool for words) and moved south of the Mason-Dixon line (the jury is still out -- but so far so good).

I'd not wanted to take a serious job before the move south because I didn't want to get invested in something I knew I'd have to leave in fairly short order. So I took a job that was undemanding in the extreme. (Looking elsewhere on the blog will fill you in as to where that is.) Since the move south, I've ramped things up a bit as it looks like we'll be here for at least three years if not longer.

In addition, I'm making a career change. I did the journalism thing for eight years. That's quite long enough (for me) and it fits my pattern -- I was a hair burner for eight years prior to that and before that, well... I was young.

Since the move, I've applied for... wait, let me check... ... ... 35 different jobs here in the land of Dixie. (That's according to the spreadsheet I'm keeping at the recommendation of the PIC -- a good idea, I think, as it lets me see what I've been doing and keep track of things).

A good many of the jobs I've applied for have been get-your-foot-in-the-door deals -- some admin type deal that'll get me to a place where I can work my way up. Ugh.

Then there are the handful of jobs that I actually wanted for one reason or another -- either the job looked appealing or the company looked appealing. Needless to say (I really do have to look up the origins of that saying...), I didn't get any of them.

My overall impression is that given the breadth of my resume the interviewers thought I was either way over qualified or way underqualified.

Ugh.

Now, there is a job I've applied for for which I feel I'm qualified AND I really want it. It's a web content management position at the region's largest employer. (I won't go into any details -- see the jinx comment above -- until all is said and done). I've had a phone interview (90 min.), an in-person interview (5 1/2 hours, 6 different people), and a writing test.

The first two steps went swimmingly. Then, on the writing test, I choked. I got nervous, there were technical difficulties, and (if you've been reading carefully you know this) it's been over a year since I had a JOC.

There are four people applying for two positions with this job. I'm hoping that a poor performance on the writing test (my perception -- not anything that anyone has confirmed) won't eliminate me from the running.

I expect to hear this week.

I'll keep you posted.

Knee Deep in All the Stars That Never Were

2008-10-10T15:26:00.000-04:00

Knee Deep in Butch

2008-09-27T14:15:00.003-04:00

Paul Newman

(1925 - 2008)

"Kiss me."

Knee Deep in AARP

2008-09-17T17:30:00.006-04:00

Being a middle-aged GWM in a building full of 20-somethings certainly does provide for interesting blog-fodder (some of it NSFM: Not Safe for Mom). Often during lulls in activity I find myself briefly getting my groove on with T, trading barbs with K, or sharing memories of Manhattan with L.
Sometimes though -- and here I cringe somewhat -- I'm called upon to provide educational advice. I cringe not because I hesitate (ever) to share my thoughts or opinions on certain matters, but because often the request highlights just how much OLDER I am than my contemporaries.
An innocent example: advising C that she might want to avoid unloading the over-weighted rolling cart from the bottom first, as that would in all likelihood exacerbate its top-heaviness and compel it to fall over on her.
A more delicate example: defining "spooks" for D.
D is quite the movie buff (as am I) and most of our conversation revolves around "What looks good to you this weekend?" and "What did you see this weekend?"
He's a nice kid and I like him.
We'd both just seen Burn After Reading, the new Coen Brothers film in which somebody uses the word "spooks".
Recognizing BAR as a movie about spies -- and being OLD -- I got the reference immediately: spooks=spies. Although I have to admit that even while watching the movie I thought it was an interesting word choice due its other, somewhat dated, definition.
Trying to break this down for a young man of African descent -- in the workplace no less -- proved challenging: Do I bring up the alternate definition? or KISS (Keep it Simple, Stupid).
Given my limited interaction with D, I chose the latter. Had I known him better, or even if we'd been outside the workplace, I may have gone into it further.
But I often feel like my level of social acceptance at work is tenuous. I really am like a unicorn in this place -- the only other Caucasian males in the place are both management-- significantly younger -- and (ostensibly) straight. I've not bonded with any of my co-workers, nor do I plan on it. While the company has been good to me, and I genuinely like most of the people I work with, I'm WAY overqualified and not earning nearly enough to support myself in a style to which I hope someday to become accustomed.
So the job search continues.
And as soon as something better (and palatable) comes up, I'll jump.
Until then, I'll continue by role as the Nutty Professor (the original).

Knee Deep in North Carolina

2008-09-14T13:44:00.004-04:00

You know, you can make a photo opportunity just about anywhere if you know where to look.

A couple of weeks ago, I went with the Partner in Crime to the North Carolina Transportation Museum. (He's a big ole car buff.) Fortunately, the weather wasn't prohibitively hot and they had lots of cool stuff there. I can see why it'd be a great destination for school field trips.

Anyway, <--- here's a blast from the past. 33-cents for a gallon of gas. I can almost remember that. As I've said before, we've been pretty lucky. It was only one time we've paid more than $3.99 for a gallon of gas -- and that was on a road trip to the coast. Still, 33-cents. Kinda makes you sad, doesn't it?

One of the cooler aspects of the Museum was the roundhouse -- where they've got x-number of trains parked... lodged... housed. Some of them you can go into, others you can't but you can look in the windows. There were some pretty fabulous examples of old-moneyed private railroad cars on display. There were items there as well from Piedmont Airlines, a hot air balloon, and a dugout canoe.

Pretty cool. I was even able to get a pretty funky t-shirt for my nephew -- an ongoing project to broaden his horizons by sparking interest in other places/topics.

Knee Deep in Nature

2008-09-14T13:31:00.003-04:00

It is with great sadness we report the demise of "Charlotte" the unknown-type spider who'd taken up residence on the ceiling of our front porch. Charlotte was big, Charlotte was scary, Charlotte provided us with endless minutes of entertainment. After some initial trepidation ("ew, there's a big hairy spider on the porch!"), we got used to her.

Charlotte's life ran its course, she weaved, she ate, she hid. And then one day she was gone. Reduced to a crumpled pile of spider carcass on the porch. Not long after that, she was gone again -- food for a colony of ants who live somewhere in the vicinity. Seriously, about 36 hours after we first noticed her body, there was nary a trace of her. Such is the cycle of life.

Knee Deep in Fur

2008-09-14T13:01:00.002-04:00

Well, after a couple of months of freedom, the outdoor cat is once again an indoor cat. We've been worried about her state of mind for a while now -- she'd only come in for meals, howling -- and we were worried about the preponderance of wildlife showing up in the area. (Since the raccoon-on-porch episode a few months ago, we've since had an opossum-on-porch incident.)
She seems to have adjusted. After a week or so spent on the rug in the kitchen she's migrated to the bottom of an unused bookshelf in the dining room. And she's becoming more affectionate. She's even joined us for movie night a couple of times. Wish us luck.

Knee Deep in Netflix

2008-09-14T11:55:00.005-04:00

We're making good progress in our quest to become ever-more-subculturally-enlightened homosexuals via 101 Must See Movies for Gay Men. Over the past few weeks, we've rented Basic Instinct (long time since I've seen it -- I'd forgotten that it's actually a good movie!) and Auntie Mame (what little gay boy didn't want an Auntie Mame? or to BE her when he grew up -- I know I have Mame-ish aspirations with my brother's youngin's).

Other recommended rentals not related to 101MSMFGM: Bella (sweet, sweet, sweet), Shattered ('cause Gerard Butler is hot), P.S. I Love You ('cause Gerard Butler and Jeffrey Dean Morgan are hot, and it's sweet)

Knee Deep in Cinema

2008-09-14T11:40:00.005-04:00

We went last night with the Awesome Neighbors to see the new Coen Brothers film Burn After Reading. Much, MUCH more enjoyable than No Country for Old Men (IMHO) -- everything wrapped up nicely, there were no "huh?" moments, and it was funny as sh*t. About halfway into the movie I was reminded why Brad Pitt is a movie star. Aside from being fun to look at, he just went for it in this character and was totally believable as a dimwitted, would-be blackmailer. I totally have to see Blood Simple.

(p.s., much thanks to the Awesome Neighbors for a lovely home-cooked meal prior to the movie.)

Knee Deep in Thought...

2008-09-14T11:24:00.004-04:00

"Everyone I loved seemed to go on forever wishing and wanting and waiting and waiting. They lived their lives waiting to win the great lottery, the Reader's Digest Sweepstakes. At the ends of their lives, they held on to two or three items of pride and dismissed every other ambition as wishful thinking, nothing more than a dream. I felt an increasing need to elevate myself by going amongst people I felt challenged by, even inferior to, who would prompt me to push myself into new realms. I did not want to wait on that million-to-one chance of being chosen, but wanted to be the pointing his finger and calling the names."

Tim McLaurin, Keeper of the Moon

Knee Deep in Faith

2008-09-01T09:58:00.005-04:00

Our quest to find our place in the area -- and mature adults to hang out with -- led us to church yesterday. The Metropolitan Community Church of Winston to be precise. It's something we talked about before moving down here -- realizing that faith is a big part of southern culture. And recognizing that church is a strong community-building tool if nothing else.
I'd been to an MCC service in Manhattan many years ago. Just once. It didn't strike a chord with me.

The PIC got much more out of it than I did. He was raised Baptist -- I was raised Catholic. He knew all the songs -- I'd never heard them before. The experience reminded him of his parents -- it reminded me of when I was an adolescent and it dawned on me that my church didn't want me. (A major disconnect with the whole "God is love" message.)

The people at the MCC were all very nice and welcoming. The service was somewhat more Baptist in nature than I recall and very Christ-centered.
The PIC was grateful I went with him and I've offered to go to more services and even check out other churches with him. Apparently there are several in the area that are "welcoming" to gays/lesbians.

Also on the religion note: we rented Jesus Camp recently. Scary. While I recognize that organized religion has done a lot of good for a lot of people over the years, I also believe that a lot of bad has been done in the name of religion -- this movie is a prime example of that. I felt so bad for some of the kids portrayed in this documentary. To me it felt like child abuse. Ugh. Knowledge is power.

Also on the Southern Baptist note: we got Mississippi Sissy from the library. The memoir's gotten a lot of praise from the gay press since it came out. And I thought it was well deserved. Kevin Sessums is a great storyteller and his story struck a chord both with the PIC and myself. The book is an easy read and each of us tore through it in just a few days.

One of the things I look for in documentaries and memoirs (most entertainment actually) is something that will take me out of my own experience and teach me something. Both of these works succeeded in that and I recommend them.

Knee Deep in Politics

2008-08-10T14:10:00.003-04:00

Ask Not

A local non-profit does bimonthly movie nights of gay interest. Last night, they showed Ask Not, a film about the current state of affairs with Don't Ask Don't Tell. It was pretty good -- focused on the efforts of young people toward getting the statute repealed. The audience was large -- the largest we've seen since we started going to these events in April. I can't say I learned anything from it. I did a college paper on the military's ban on gays back in college in the late '90s and I'm pretty well caught up on my gay/lesbian documentaries. But, as the Partner in Crime pointed out, I'm probably more "aware" of some of these issues than many people living in this neck of the woods. So it's all good.

Some of the people featured in the documentary were at last night's screening and held a Q&A afterward. They're very well spoken. They've also got a website.

Overall, it was worth the price of admission. And the turnout was so large they're thinking of showing it again two months from now.

Knee Deep in Gratitude

2008-08-10T14:05:00.002-04:00

Bessie

This sucker is still getting 34 mpg highway. Can you believe it? I bought it fresh off the lot in January 1996 with my father. It was his suggestion I go manual transmission and spend the extra money on a moon roof. I'd never gone manual before (and I probably won't again) but if I'm going to continue to get this kind of mileage from it -- well, who can argue?

Knee Deep in Netflix

2008-08-02T16:58:00.006-04:00

We're working our way through 101 Must See Movies for Gay Men with mixed success. The Partner in Crime has elected to go through the listings alphabetically and since the author lists them that way in the book I figure, Why not?
So after some initial skipping around, we're up to All About Eve. A classic. Why? Because like it or not, most gay men have encountered (or will) just about every character in the movie in the process of their development. On top of that, we have (or will) identified with them. The ageing diva, the scheming ingenue, the cloying hangers-on, and the horrified-yet-titillated bystanders. And the writing is fantastic. This is a movie during which I pick up on something new each time i watch it. I recommend it. My only complaint is that all of the all of the features on the bonus disc were already on the feature disc. Eh.
Next up was The Apple:
What a mess. A fabulous mess. That's why it's in the book. This is one of the movies you have to see to believe. But don't take that as a recommendation to actually rent this piece of schlock. Not unless you have a really high tolerance for camp. Two redeeming features of this film: the music was so bad and so poorly written that by the time we got halfway through the PIC was singing along without missing a beat; and the way the male lead filled out his jeans. (And as appealing as THAT was, I still don't recommend this movie.
I did find it amusing though that the cheesy production numbers were choreographed by the man who's now the producer/head judge on TV's So You Think You Can Dance. No comment on that, I leave you to fill in the blanks for yourself on that one.

We're taking a break from the book at the moment and have moved on to Torchwood. Hey, who doesn't like a bisexual space investigator every once in a while?

Right?

Knee Deep in Lesbians

2008-08-02T16:23:00.005-04:00

In an effort to relieve some of the boredom that comes with being stuck in the house too long (an offshoot of trying to save our money) the Partner in Crime and I went down to Charlotte last weekend for their local Pride activities.
I found it particularly subdued. As near as we can tell, they don't have a parade like other cities do-- thereby reducing the photo-opportunities. The one decent picture we got was in front of the Fagbug:
And no, that is not an excuse to start throwing around the f-word.
While the crowd was probably pretty evenly mixed between men and women, my own bias picked up on the sheer numbers of women there. While the older women pretty much fit the mold of short hair-comfortable shoes that I'm used to, I was struck by the number of younger women who were trying to look like thugs. They've got the whole droopy pants, slouched shoulder thing going on. Come to think of it, I've noticed that some in some of the other places where I'm likely to come in contact with younger lesbians. Much more though here than up north. I don't get it. But, I don't have to.
Otherwise, as I said, the whole event was pretty subdued. It's centered around the courtyard of a business-park/complex/whatever downtown. I swear, these cities down here seem as though they were constructed out of some computer program design. Very little character, they're all interchangeable, and bland. What ever happened to the thriving downtowns of my youth? Oh well.
There were many booths set up, most of them socio-political in nature, with a smattering of tchotch-for-sale. Blown glass this, hand-woven that. Yawn. We did manage to pick up a bear cooky from the local leather crowd. All sugar. After that, we went out to see the new Batman movie.

which we both agreed was pretty good (and well worth seeing on a big screen) but waaaay too long. They could have chopped out a significant bit of it and you never would have missed it. The first half of the movie was much better than the second and I can totally see why they're talking Oscar-nom for Heath Ledger. (He creeped me out!) Does he deserve it? Eh. Will he get it? Probably, the Academy tends to play catch-up with their awards. Namely, the person who deserves it usually is passed over for "the favorite" and that deserving person is usually rewarded for a later (lesser-quality) performance. (Think Whoopi Goldberg-- she totally earned it with The Color Purple and got it for Ghost. Go figure.)
After that, in our continuing effort to meet cool, like-minded people, we went over to The Woodshed, our favorite little country/dive bar. We stayed a little late, drank a little too much, got to know some people who live a little too far away to become good friends, then crashed at the motel-down-the-road that had a little too much water on the bathroom floor. I've noticed that a lot in our travels. Granted, we tend to stay at lower-end places in our efforts to save a penny or two (after all, when we travel we're not there for the hotel room, we're there for what ever it's in the middle of).
All in all, a good Get Out of Dodge episode.

Knee Deep in Remorse

2008-08-02T16:00:00.005-04:00

Jeez-- it's been so long since I updated. I feel guilty.
There's not been a lot to write about however, the Partner in Crime and I have been staying pretty close to home (trying to save our pennies, you know) and there's not been a lot to write about.
Except for The Storm. It was quite the ripper. Make no mistake, both the PIC and I enjoy a good storm-- call it Mother Nature having a fit or what will you, but it was quite entertaining. We even sat out on the porch for a good portion of the festivities-- that is until the wind started blowing the rain horizontal and we had to move it indoors. The cats were both freaked out. So much so that the one who lives outdoors most of the time even deigned to join us in the house for most of it. We lost power for about eight hours-- prompting a quick refresher course in how to set the alarm clocks on our phones just in case electricity hadn't come back my morning.
The damage from said storm was extensive. A tree got knocked down just two houses away from our home:

fortunately there was no damage.

Quite a different scene just two streets away:

where a big mofo of a tree came down from the slope of a lawn, brought down power lines, and landed on top of not one but two cars. By the time we arrived on the scene, some genius was trying to drive one of the cars out from underneath this monstrosity. His friends eventually were able to talk him out of it by pointing out that every time he put the vehicle in gear the tree above him would actually move. A couple of bystanders (including ourselves) actually took the time to wonder about the possibility of electrocution. A concept which apparently never occurred to our intrepid driver.
A block in the other direction, another house sustained at least minor roof damage:

in fact, there was still a blue tarp over a section of the roof when I drove by the other day. Bummer.

We just had another storm. Good winds, lotsa rain, and big cracks of thunder. The power flickered once or twice but nothing nearly as dramatic as 10 days ago. Still, it was fun.

Knee Deep in Cinema

2008-07-14T17:56:00.003-04:00

Not to impugn the Partner in Crime... but I am WAY more gay than he is.

Well, maybe not NOW, but I've had a lot more practice at it than he has. Or maybe I should say I've been at it a lot longer. (He came out later in life whereas I came out at 18.)

Therefore, there are some big bits of gay subculture of which he's [blissfully] unaware.

Until now.

Last Christmas I purchased as a gift for him Alonso Duralde's book, 101 Must See Movies for Gay Men.

Along with such standards as All About Eve and The Women, Duralde serves up a list of other, lesser known, films that have either informed the modern gay consciousness or benefited from it.

And dishes up the dirt on each of them.

I'm not giving anything away here. Nor will I tell you what he has to say about each film. (I don't want to discourage you from buying the book -- it'd make a great gift for your gay friend who has everything else.)

Shortly after the holidays, we watched The Celluloid Closet. I'd read the book many years ago and seen the film (in a theater no less). But PIC hadn't. It's (a little) dated, but it's a good read/view.

This weekend, being rainy here and all, we hunkered down to watch another recommendation from Duralde's book: The Killing of Sister George.

Dyke Drama -- British Style

Now, I have to confess. TKoSG would NOT have been at the top of my viewing list had it not been for this book. But I've got to say, i LOVED it. While the movie was made in what some refer to as "the bad old days", the central drama lies not around the central characters' sexual orientation but around... well, I'll let you rent it and watch it for yourself. I'll just say it's well worth it and I'll be adding another Beryl Reid film to my Netflix queue for future enjoyment.

Knee Deep in Drama

2008-07-14T16:15:00.001-04:00

Don't ask me why... for some reason I had this song going through my head today at work:

Knee Deep in Confusion

2008-07-12T16:26:00.006-04:00

Now, I'm all for discretion. There's something to be said for the politesse of genteel society even in the modern era. But let's think a little bit here people...

As a member of a national gay journalists association (even though I'm no longer a journalist, I think it looks good on a resume) I'm entitled to, and receive, a semi-annual gay travel mag.

It comes in the mail. (One of the few things I still get from our local letter carriers seeing as much of my bill-paying and correspondence is carried out online these days.) And it's delivered with a discreet white wrapper reminiscent of days gone by when men "with different inclinations" had to fear for their careers and families.

The magazine in question.

Now, I don't have a problem with this. (Aside from the waste of both paper and plastic required in such a mailing. I'm such an environmentalist.) I realize that there are many men and women who still live like this. Those who like their lives just the way they are, but, for whatever reason, are unable to be truthful with their loved ones about who it is their sleeping with. Whatever.

It seems to me though, that those who decide to send these innocent travel magazines out with discreet covers may want to take a look at what's being advertised on the back cover.

Nary a female in sight.

Three hotties frolicking in a swimming pool hawking travelocity with the tagline "Try a new water sport."

Now really.

How discreet is that?

Not very.

Sigh.

Note #1: The Partner in Crime's issue of AutoWeek arrived today as well. No Paper. No plastic.

Note #2: This travel magazine isn't even particularly interesting. Anyone looking for a nice gift subscription for me for Christmas could take a look here.

Knee Deep in "Not Gonna Miss Him"

2008-07-07T19:11:00.002-04:00

At the ferry terminal for Bald Head.

Had it not been a national holiday, it might have meant a statewide day of mourning.

What can I say? The man hated me -- and he didn't even know me. Joe knows.

Knee Deep in "Aaaaaaah"

2008-07-07T18:08:00.014-04:00

Well, I hope you all had as nice a holiday weekend as we did. After some last minute planning and some willingness to "go with the flow", we found ourselves in lovely Wilmington, North Carolina this weekend. The trip was not entirely pleasant. As many of you have done already, we (for the first time) paid more than $4 for a gallon of gas.

He's on vacation, he doesn't care.

Yes, I can hear you all, "Boo hoo for Mark." But we've had it pretty easy.
Another first on the way down -- our first tobacco field.

Yeah yeah. Smoking is bad.

We were kind of hoping for a contact high on the drive through these many fields. Alas, it wasn't to be.
And the highlight of the trip down, finding the Ava Gardner Museum in lovely Smithfield.

Me calling The Princess in P-town.

I have to admit. Ava Gardner was not really high up on my list of Hollywood icons. I mean, yeah, she was friggin' gorgeous and all, but she really robbed Lena Horne of her rightful part in Show Boat, and she married some pretty famous guys and all. But really. Wasn't high up. But, after learning more about her, I have to say she was pretty fabulous and we're definitely adding The Killers to our Netflix list.

Trying to make Tyra proud.

Anyway... Wilmington, three beaches in three days. Yes, we think Mark definitely got his ocean fix.

Wrightsville Beach. Not a WORD about the belly!

Bald Head. Yes, we really were all alone.

Oak Island Beach. Added bonus: lighthouse.

In addition to the lighthouse at Oak Island, we took in the one on Bald Head Island. I'm told that purists don't really care for it, because it's not round. I thought it was pretty cool.

The nephew's souvenier t-shirt purchase.

More firsts:

Spanish Moss.

Palm Trees.

Ouch. First sunburn of 2008.

Hey, whattyawant? I needed a beach fix!
(The Partner in Crime is uploading a bunch of photos from this trip, I'll link them as soon as he's done. What did YOU do for the 4th of July?)

Knee Deep in Goofiness

2008-06-25T17:55:00.001-04:00

Knee Deep in Sweat

2008-06-25T16:53:00.003-04:00

As I've mentioned, my mind tends to wander sometimes at work. Hence, the song of the day:

Now imagine me hearing this as sung by Boris Karloff as he performed the Grinch.
Now imagine me bopping along to the music in my head.
Now imagine I forgot to wear a belt to work -- and -- having lost a couple of pounds -- my shorts slipping down over my butt. Thank god I was wearing a long t-shirt. But it was a pain having to hike my shorts up over my hips every 10 seconds.

Not me. Not pretty.

Knee Deep in Vagina

2008-06-24T17:33:00.003-04:00

I love Tina Fey. I swear, if I wasn't already spoken for (and gay) I'd have a serious crush.

The Partner in Crime and I have taken to going to the movies lately. This means actually going to the movies as opposed to abusing our Netflix account. Part of this lies due to the fact that the bar scene around here is totally lame. Okay, that's a gross generalization. The [one] gay bar here in town is devoted to drag queens and twinks. Not that I have anything against either demographic -- I'm just over them. Having been "out and about" since the age of 18 (yes, Mom... sorry) in cities both large and small, I've seen just about everything I want to see. And more. Much, much more.
Back home, we have a bar called Blackstones. For lack of a better comparison, let's refer to it as Gay Cheers. It's a neighborhood watering hole catering to those of us who are 30+. I've been going there since I moved back to Maine from NYC in 1996. So I know a lot of people there. I know of a lot of people there. And most of them know me. It's a great place to hang out and socialize. For others, it's a great place to go cruise... but that's another story for a different blog.
Anyway... I've determined that Blackstones is unique. And I miss it. And we don't have anything like that (yet) down here.
So, we've been going to the movies. In the past few weeks we've seen the above-mentioned Baby Mama, Iron Man, Indiana Jones and the Long Overdue Reappearance of Karen Allen, SATC, and Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day.
Gotta say, we enjoyed them all.
And who knows... maybe we'll continue to go to the movies once we've made friends. Friends who like to go to the movies.

Knee Deep in 7 Dirty Words

2008-06-24T16:33:00.003-04:00

George Carlin

(1937 - 2008)

Okay, for some reason, I can't embed the video. So just click here for "Stuff". Truer words were rarely said.

Knee Deep in Legs

2008-06-24T16:21:00.004-04:00

Cyd Charisse

(1921 - 2008)

She deserves for you to sit through all two minutes and 25 seconds:

Go here for more.

Knee Deep in Philanthropy

2008-06-24T15:33:00.011-04:00

Okay, so last weekend, we found yet another example of the ~~beneficence~~ generosity of the Reynolds family. Tanglewood Park. It's now owned my the local municipality (I guess) but they're maintaining it and hopefully making a little money from it.

The Partner In Crime taking in the view.

There's a pool (with a little too little shade for my liking), a couple of golf courses, horseback riding (I'm tempted), a couple of lakes, hiking trails, and a garden.

Some spiderweb-y type thing in the kids' corner.

Midnight in the Garden of Grits and Cigarettes.

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of what I assumed was a dog in the woods. But it turned tail and ran. So I'm assuming it was some sort of wildlife. However, while pursuing it (I know I know -- great idea -- wild, possibly dangerous wildlife? Let's run after it!), I spotted a deer in the distance:

The shot I got...

Okay, I need a better photo-editing program. And a faster trigger finger.

It's there. Really. This struck me as especially funny in light of recent events. It seems one of the more or less domesticated animals we call "pets" has decided she'd like to take up residence on the neighbors' deck:

Like she can't crash in the house...?

At first this was a little concerning. After all, we don't want to burden the neighbors with an elderly and somewhat needy cat when they've got one (not as elderly, MUCH more aggressive) of their own. But she's fairly well-behaved and all she does is crash there. So the neighbors don't seem to mind too much. A debit: when she does deign to grace us with her presence, it's with a series of great howls! Now, it's not like we're locking her out or anything. And she's got to know by now that when it gets dark outside (or thereabouts) the door is going to be closed and we're in for the night. So "no" we don't hear her scratching at the door. (She did this once during a thunderstorm. Yes, we let her in.)
A benefit: she's using the litter box a LOT less! I guess she's doing it outside. And as Martha would say, that's a good thing.

Knee Deep in Notes

2008-06-15T11:04:00.003-04:00

Nicely done.
Here's the chorus.
Here's the artist.

Knee Deep in BBQ Sauce

2008-06-14T12:59:00.013-04:00

Okay -- another lesson learned -- apparently barbecue has a meaning entirely different from what we (in the north) are accustomed to. Down here, it means something akin to pulled pork -- something with a slightly vinegary sauce out of which you can make sandwiches:

Think sloppy joes.
What I was raised to think of as barbecue is (I guess) more accurately described as ribs:

Yummy.
And this weekend, some local group is doing something called Ribfest. They do it every Fathers Day weekend -- in a parking lot -- downtown. PIC went there for lunch on Thursday -- we went back Friday after work. It was expensive to get in ($8 each -- a little astounding seeing as Reynolda House was only $10 AND you got a free audio guided tour -- but what the hey?), and small, but there was music and crowds and food.
I guess the way it works is that various barbecue companies will make "the circuit" and travel from ribfest to ribfest throughout the region hawking their wares and generally making people happy.

It was interesting to note upon perusing the signage of each mobile establishment that the furthest north they go in the continental U.S. is Ohio -- then they hop up to Ontario. No wonder I'm so barbecue ignorant.
Anyway, utilizing that degree I have in Mass Communication, we determined the best place to get our ribs from was the one with the longest line (I know -- 8 years of college for that -- but it pays off in other ways too).
So we settled on North Carolina Rib King.
Upon standing in line ourselves (thereby perpetuating the masses thing) and perusing the menu/billboard, we determined we were going to get the "King Feast" something something:

I know it looks huge. And it was! But we split it! Give me a break.
The beverages-in-tin cans came courtesy of Hillbilly Bob's (I'd add a link, but couldn't find one within the 10 second time limit I allow myself for these things) -- the tin cans being a really expensive gimmick that EVERYONE was buying into. Okay, I admit, I'm not immune to peer pressure. And refills were moderately less expensive. The tin cans themselves are now in our kitchen -- they're going to become our porch-beverage-container-of-choice for the rest of the summer (which, I know, hasn't technically even started yet -- yeesh).
Sating ourselves, we walked around a little more (not a lot of walking, mind you, remember, this is in a parking lot) we opted NOT to parake in the roasted corn on the cob, I was still a little full. But we did get a pic of another first for me:

A vat of melted butter into which the cob is dipped before being handed over to the customer.
Now, I love corn on the cob as much as the next person. But remember, I grew up in the north where it's a summer delicacy and drowning it in butter is practically a cardinal sin.
Anyway. I'm not ruling it out.
Another first:

A mister!
Next to central air conditioning, this is my new favorite invention. Some people want a fancy car, others want a big house. I want one of these. On wheels. I want PIC to follow me around with it from June to September (maybe October if it stays this warm).

Ah Wildlife

2008-06-14T12:39:00.007-04:00

Reason #1 why it's probably not a really good idea to leave food/water on the porch in the midst of a drought:

You'll attract wildlife.
In case you can't tell from the photo, that's a shot from inside the office out toward the porch where a raccoon was caught drinking from the cats' water bowl. You see, one of the animals (Fergie) has taken to sprawling on the porch in this oppressive heat. This is all that much more surprising seeing as how she's the one with the long fur:

Even more surprising is the fact that she'll take the opportunity (on these really hot days) to cuddle with PIC or myself... outside... on the porch... in 90 degree weather. This is something she doesn't do in the cooler confines of the house.
I, when on the porch, can usually be found like this:

But I digress.
The aforementioned raccoon undoubtedly was just looking for some relief from the weather. Awww. But, given the animals' predisposition for carrying certain diseases, they're generally not something you want hanging around your house pets. Especially older (the cats are 17) slower ones. And unfortunately, Fergie (see above) was out on the porch at the time. Fortunately, she's not super territorial and there was no defense posture. When I opened the door, in order to get a better picture of the animal, it took off blowing right past with Fergie hissing in its wake.

I'd have gotten a better photograph if: a) I was faster; b) it was slower; c) the batteries in my camera weren't slightly worn down.
Still, on the coolness front, this is the closest I've ever gotten to wildlife.
I'm still not sure how smart that was... but still.

I'm Old?

2008-06-09T19:28:00.003-04:00

I had the unique experience of being asked today by a colleague how old I am. At first I wasn't bothered by this. The truth is, I didn't quite understand the question. The coworker in question is, I believe, Cambodian. And his command of English is not the best. (That's being polite.)
I've been pretty lucky, I guess. I've pretty much taken advantage of every age I've been. I screwed around in my 20s, figured things out in my 30s, and am settling down in my 40s.
I know there are people who don't like the ageing process -- and defy it in any way they can -- but I'm not one of them.
The thing about this colleague is, I had no way of knowing how old he is without asking directly. You see, he's got one of those man-boy builds that, if you put a bag over his head, means he'd pass for 12.

And he's about 5'2" and he dresses like something out of an A&F catalog. Granted, he's got a sprinkling of gray hair... but still.
Anyway, "I'm 44," I told him. Then, thinking it only polite, I asked how old he was. I think he said 40, but again, I can't be sure.
I AM the oldest person in my workplace (a temporary situation I'm hoping -- the work situation -- not that I'm hoping they hire a bunch of seniors) and I tend to get off on that. I like being surrounded by young(er) people. They're interesting.
I just don't feel so great about being singled out for my age.

Eh.

On other work topics... I've mentioned how my mind tends to wander and how at various times a song will get stuck in my head. Today, there were three.
The first: I'm Every Woman by Chaka Khan (a goddess in my book)
The second: Happy Talk from South Pacific (a confluence I believe of my ponderings that some people at work would rather gab/socialize than work and my southeast Asian wanderings after this conversation with aforementioned colleague... shut up -- I am not a racist!).
Finally: I Want Money by the Flying Lizards. Here's a taste.

He's So Smaht

2008-06-08T18:46:00.003-04:00

The frozen drink mixer is missing a gasket or something so the Partner in Crime fashioned some little mixer-diapers out of an old towel.

For Lack of a Better Place to Put It

2008-06-08T15:34:00.002-04:00

When I left Maine (Feb. 2008), my 12-year-old niece was 59" tall, my 8-year-old nephew was 52" tall, and my 4-year-old niece was 44" tall.
We took those measurements so that I'd be able to see how much they'd grown since I last saw them. (Don't know when that will be right now.)
The piece of paper on which I wrote that information has been floating around a little too loosely lately and I'm afraid of losing it.

Their father's waist, btw, was 43". (I doubt that measurement however since he's thinner than I am and I'm a 38".)

Gettin' Out o'Dodge

2008-06-08T14:07:00.009-04:00

With the heat being what it was (and me being such a baby about it) the Partner in Crime and I decided to get out of Dodge and see if we could cool down. A Googling of state parks + swimming led us to Hanging Rock State Park (the closest contender).
Before heading out though, we had to stop at the pharmacy to pick some stuff up. Imagine my glee (not) upon seeing this:

Yeah, I know we got a late start. But it's a weekend. And we're gay. And it's hot. But seriously -- 102!?!? No way!
Anyway. When we got there we were delayed by some serious motorcycle ride -- at which point the PIC noticed the sign for Priddy's -- this wicked cool old general store he'd read about somewhere on the web. It lived up to the hype (no wicked cool t-shirts to buy though -- they need someone to come up with a better graphic) and the woman behind the register (who happened also to be the mayor of Danbury) tipped us off to the Lower Cascade -- a little waterfall with a pool at the bottom. This was handy, since we'd already learned from the park's website that the swimming lake would not be open until June 11 (an end of school thing -- don't ask me).
The Lower Cascade was a little bit of a hike: (yes, it's time to quit smoking) but once we got there, it was quite charming!

A little small and overrun with rugrats, we decided to stay only about 20 minutes.
Continuing our exploration of that part of the Dan River, we encountered my first local snake:
PIC says 3' -- I say closer to 4'. He says "dead" -- I say "alive". Regardless, the pic was taken from the car and the snake was not in place when we drove back through.
I'm not missing it.
We continued driving around, making our way back home. And landed in the city at about 7:30 -- passing by our current favorite movie theater.
"Let's stop in," I say. We do, and made it just in time for a showing of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Very enjoyable -- especially given the underlying theme of the importance of education. And I'm really glad they brought back Karen Allen. I recommend it.
Upon arriving home, we discovered that my anniversary present to PIC had finally arrived (somewhat belatedly) -- a bound copy of photos from our first year together courtesy of Shutterfly. I have to say, I was quite impressed. So was he.

All in all, a good day.

Culture Shock

2008-06-07T11:23:00.003-04:00

Not for the first time in my life am I surrounded by young black women. The first time was back in the early 1990s when I enrolled in Wilfred Beauty Academy in NYC. I got to the city by chance. I'd been living in Portland, Maine working quite contentedly as an order operator for L.L. Bean when a friend convinced me to move with him. The plan was that we'd stay in Boston for the summer (he'd just broken up with his bf) and move on to New York in the fall. His sister had been living in Manhattan for several years and was moving to Florida to be with her future husband. My friend, being ambitious and newly accepted to NYU School of Law, was inheriting her rent-controlled apartment and needed a roommate.
As with so many other decisions, my response was "why not?"
Well, we didn't make it to NYC quite on schedule, and after a year or so in a low-level, really gay job in Boston, we moved.
It was my goal at that time to become a hair dresser. The plan was to stay in Manhattan for five years: go to school, apprentice, and end up at the best salon in the city. I figured five years was enough for me to be making some serious money and at that point (no longer being poor/struggling), I'd be able to make an informed decision as to whether or not I'd stay there.
When I got to the city there was only one beauty school remaining on the island. (The aforementioned Wilfred.) The other school -- the "fun" one I was later told -- had closed the previous year after some financial improprieties.
Upon enrollment, I discovered that I was one of two white guys in the class.* It turns out NYC had (has?) some sort of program where welfare mothers can attend technical schools for free and the class was loaded up.
Now, you can imagine what this was like for a little white boy from Maine (often, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, the whitest state in the Union).
My fears, unfounded, were promptly allayed when I was adopted by the queen bee of this particular group (Suzy Q a.k.a. Susan Johnson) and made their unofficial mascot.
One of my fondest memories of beauty school was after Sue convinced me to do her relaxer one day in class. In her excitement, she started screaming out "White boy doing perm! White boy doing perm!" A crowd gathered briefly and my endorsement was official.
(One of my least favorite memories was getting sent home for the day. I'd eaten something bad, it gave me food poisoning which resulted in some serious jaundice and gas. Figure it out.)
Ultimately though, school ended and while my classmates went to their respective neighborhoods, I went to midtown where I worked here and here and eventually wound up here. My last job in NYC helped me achieve my ultimate goal of making a lot of money. I found myself a cute boyfriend** and moved to Park Slope. But in the end I just was not happy. I found myself comparing the Brooklyn neighborhood to my adopted hometown of Portland, Maine and wound up moving back there in January 1996.
I would not trade my time at Wilfred*** for anything. While the education itself was lacking (relying on an outdated program which has NO bearing on what you're currently required to do in hair salons), it opened me up to a new group of people and for that I am extremely grateful.
I think it's helped me adapt to my new environment. The population down here is significantly African-American and after having lived in Portland (this time) for 12 years (still the whitest state in the Union), it's not quite a culture shock.
And... some of the girls are impressed that I can actually say their names correctly.

*The other white guy didn't graduate. We heard it was drugs.
**He stayed in New York.
***No longer in business. Again, I heard it was financial impropriety.